


Ain't a Feeling I Can't Keep

by dls



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: 5+1, Ambiguous/Open Ending, Civil War Team Iron Man, Gen, Implied/Referenced Mind Control, Not Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie) Compliant, Unreliable Narrator, Willful Ignorance, ignorance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-30
Updated: 2018-07-30
Packaged: 2019-06-19 01:38:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15499455
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dls/pseuds/dls
Summary: Steve Rogers had a list of things he needed to see/hear/learn about this new century he had found himself in. There were more than a few crucial items missing from it.Or: 5 (of the many) Times Steve Rogers was Accidentally Ignorant and the 1 Time He was Willfully Ignorant





	Ain't a Feeling I Can't Keep

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Ana (Anafandom)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anafandom/gifts), [FarAwayInWonderland](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FarAwayInWonderland/gifts), [VeraNera](https://archiveofourown.org/users/VeraNera/gifts), [charminghex99](https://archiveofourown.org/users/charminghex99/gifts).



> I didn't realize this but I haven't written a 5+1 since last December! I'm glad I got back into it. :)
> 
> This fic is a "thank you" gift to the wonderful readers of [If You Had This Time Again](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920276/chapters/24286317), my not-so-little-anymore WiP that reached the **400k** hits milestone last week. ❤❤❤❤ 
> 
> Inspired by [Ana (Anafandom), FarAwayInWonderland, VeraNera, and charminghex99](https://archiveofourown.org/comments/117373251) & a scene between Steve and Sam in [Ch. 65](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10920276/chapters/35864697). 
> 
> Beta-ed by [Arboreal](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arboreal).
> 
> References/Quotes   
>  Title from "Blame" by Calvin Harris.   
>  _Avengers_. _Captain America: Winter Soldier_. _Avengers: Age of Ultron._ _Captain America: Civil War_.

**One.**

On his way out of his favorite pizzeria in Brooklyn, Steve held the door open for a group of young women, all clad in clothes that were far too small and form-fitting. One of them had on a shirt that didn't even cover her midriff and another had on pants, if they could even be called that, that left nothing to the imagination.

Steve had seen similar outfits on Natasha but she wore them with the specific objective of distracting her targets. Though he hadn't agreed with her methods, he couldn't question their effectiveness.

These women, however, were more likely to become targets.

"Excuse me." Steve cleared his throat and smiled kindly when they turned to give him their undivided attention. "I know you ladies don't want any trouble but trouble is going to come your way if you keep inviting it with how you're dressed."

*

The story made it onto the news cycle for a few days, some commentators agreed with his advice while others condemned it for victim-blaming. Steve could only marvel at this new world and its skewed priorities.

 

**Two.**

Bruce was quiet and withdrawn on their walk back to Stark Tower, trudging through the wreckage and stepping around alien corpses.

Fatigue had set into Steve's bones and he was only walking tall out of sheer stubbornness; he had to be the epitome of strength as the leader of the Avengers. And as their leader, Steve knew he had to say something when a teammate was experiencing some kind of internal crisis.

If only he knew what to say.

Tony strolled up next to Bruce, bumping their shoulders together and laughing when the other man stumbled.

Upon seeing this, Steve pushed aside his uncertainty. Whatever he had to say, it would surely be better than Tony's childish antics.

Bruce looked up when Steve approached and seemed grateful that Steve was keeping his distance. "Hey."

"I just want to say you did good work out there today." Steve started. "We couldn't have done it without you."

"Without the Other Guy, you mean." Bruce shrugged, a barely-there movement in his slumped shoulders. "Funny how he's always the one saving the day."

Steve tried to think of something encouraging to say. "Well, it is saved and that's the most important part." He recalled Bruce saying something about breaking Harlem. "At least it wasn't you breaking the city this time. It could always be worse, right?"

*

Steve wasn't surprised when Bruce left after delivering the Tesseract to the Asgardians. It wasn't exactly a welcoming environment around the Tower.

 

**Three.**

The young agent flinched when Steve flipped on the lights in the dark breakroom. Both of them jumped with their hands raised, except Steve had his in a defensive position and the agent lifted his to wipe away the tear tracks on his face.

Steve frowned. This was not the way to behave at a work place, especially in a time of uncertainty following HYDRA's uprising and SHIELD's fall. They were working hard to rebuild the agency and such weaknesses, if seen by others, would compromise the image they were presenting to the world.

"Son, it's a tough world out there and you got to man up or it'll eat you alive. When you get hurt, hurt them back. Staying down won't do you any good. Trust me, I've been there." Steve shook his head at the memory of his younger self then clapped the younger man on the shoulder.

*

Hill called Steve in for a meeting, updating him on changes in cultural expectations and gender roles. He went along with it, nodding at all the right places and wondering when did people become so sensitive.

 

**Four.**

Dr. Cho was a beautiful Oriental woman whose English was flawless. The lack of an accent had caught Steve by surprise, since he had been expecting it upon their introduction. He made sure to compliment her on it.

"Dr. Cho, I just want to say that you speak English really well!"

Her almond-shaped eyes narrowed and her smile took on a frosty edge. "I should hope so, Captain Rogers. It is my first language."

*

A seminar on microaggression was held at Stark Tower but Steve missed it. He was in Argentina chasing down a lead on Bucky.

 

**Five.**

Steve began drafting his letter to Tony the moment Bucky went back into cryostasis. He had to wait so he could give his apology his undivided attention; it wouldn't have been fair to Bucky or Tony if his focus had been divided.

Now, though, he could sit down, take a breath, and put pen to paper.

"...all need family. The Avengers are yours, maybe more so than mine."

Sam tapped him on the shoulder then, interrupting his train of thought with an invitation to join him and Clint for a run.

Steve declined with a comment about how they define running differently and laughed when Sam stalked off with an eye roll.

"... can be replaced, but maybe they shouldn't..."

There was something Steve was forgetting and it took him a second to remember.

"I'm sorry. Hopefully one day you can understand..."

Tony was a prideful man and unwilling to accept blame unless it was evenly distributed. Steve would gladly shoulder some of that weight if it meant their friendship could be salvaged.

"So, no matter what. I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I'll be there."

For the first time since they came to Wakanda, Steve felt the tension drain away. Everything would be okay once Tony read his letter. 

*

Tony never called and Steve wondered exactly how much groveling Tony expected of them.

 

**One.**

Scott paced back and forth behind the gas station convenience store, alternating between tugging at the hem of his shirt and running his hands through his hair. He was starting to draw some concerned looks and the last thing they could afford was attention.

T'Challa had asked them to leave Wakanda after a servant had seen Wanda practicing her magic and reported it as a violation of the terms of their stay. People were so afraid of her that they didn't even try to get to know her first. It would have been wrong to subject her to a hostile environment like that.

She was just a kid.

So they had requested a flight back to America, the last place the international authorities would think to look for them, where there would be no cultural or language barriers preventing them from hiding in plain sight.

Financial barriers, however, were a different matter.

The funds T'Challa had provided them were limited to begin with and there were so many factors, and expenses, to consider.

Steve did the best he could to provide for his team, taking on odd manual labor jobs wherever possible, but more often than not, his best came up just short of enough. Still, he tried to keep his faith in the people. One hundred and seventeen countries might have supported the Accords but that didn't mean all of their citizens did.

Some of them just needed a little push to get them on the right side of things.

Wanda really stepped up in this arena. With her doe eyes and soft smile and small stature, she had managed to turn strangers into allies, donating their money, keys, and cell phones to support the heroes who had and still kept the world safe.

Scott, however, seemed to think differently. The newest member of the Avengers grew more agitated with every passing day and it looked like whatever was brewing inside of him was coming to a boil now.

"This isn't right!"

Steve sighed. "Scott, we've been over this before-"

"She's messing with people's minds!"

"She's just talking to them."

"That's not all she's doing." Scott scoffed. "C'mon, man, you've seen it."

A flicker of doubt flashed in Steve's mind. He hadn't actually seen Wanda interacting with these people, there was always something else to do that kept him in the background. "I haven't seen anything." He said.

Horror, uncalled for, really, dawned on Scott's face as he reared back. "Because you're not even looking! This is like the Don't Ask, Don't Tell shit all over again."

Steve frowned at the unknown reference and the use of impolite language. He never got a chance to find out or chastise Scott though, because Wanda came back with a bounce in her steps and a set of car keys in hand.

*

Steve gave Wanda a thumb's up as he made his way back to back to the motel room they all shared, intending on tidying up the place before they hit the road again. The manager had been kind enough to give them the room free of charge, the least Steve could do was make the bed.

Sam and Clint exchanged a look when he walked in. They had been doing that a lot since Scott had changed his ways and given Wanda the benefit of the doubt. He seemed happier, always with a smile on his face and humming their favorite songs when there was nothing good on the radio as they drove across the country, changing one mind at a time.

The bed was already made so Steve slung his and Wanda's bags over his shoulder. "Let's get going."

Wanda waved them over to a beige-colored sedan, her hair a wild red halo in the sunlight.

**Author's Note:**

> [dls-ao3.tumblr.com](https://dls-ao3.tumblr.com/)


End file.
